A radically condensed history of postindustrial life/DFW

When they were introduced, he made a witticism, hoping to be liked. She laughed extremely hard, hoping to be liked. Then each drove home alone, staring straight ahead, with the very same twist to their faces.

 

The man who'd introduced them didn't much like either of them, though he acted as if he did, anxious as he was to preserve good relations at all times. One never knew, after all, now did one now did one now did one.

 

Merry Christmas, Dave, not like you'd care.

Maybe you do care.

I miss you.

 

Think for a second -- what if all the infinitely dense and shifting worlds of stuff inside you every moment of your life turned out now to be somehow fully open and expressible afterward, after what you think of as you has died, because what if afterward now each moment itself is an infinite sea or span or passage of time in which to express it or convey it, and you don't even need organized English, you can as they say open the door and be in anyone else's room in all your own multiform forms and ideas and facets?

已惘然

1983年，张爱玲在美国给四十年前的旧作，殷宝滟送花楼会，补了个后记。想来是对原作十分不满意，在集子的序里不忘强调：
另一篇舊作《殷寶灩送花樓會》實在太坏，實在太坏，改都無從改起。想不收入小說集，但是這篇也被盜印，不收也禁絕不了，只好添寫了個尾聲。不得不嚕蘇點交代清楚，不然讀者看到雙包案，不知道是怎么回事，還以為我在盜印自己的作品。

我读了送花楼会的原文，并不觉得这故事有多么不妥，还是张式的短篇，写艳丽的女弟子和闷骚，渴望发掘被抑郁着的激情的男教授之间，说不准是什么事情的事。以现代流行的口味，说不定用词不够哀婉凄烈，有些段落里还出现了浪漫主义风格的咏叹调，不过那是parody,男主就是神神道道那么一个人。

不可否认的是，这篇故事的密度，的确要低于其它同期作品。这不是篇幅的问题。
也许她1944年下笔的时候心思并不在这故事上，也许她只是觉得那一刻自己窗外的风景格外讨喜，于是编了一个老同学来访的故事，好让她可以在转述之余，不动声色地把读者的注意力引向这一主一客面对的窗户。

“我房的窗子正对着春天的西晒。暗绿漆布的遮阳拉起了一半，风把它吹得高高地，摇晃着绳端的小木坠子。败了色的淡赭红的窗帘，紧紧吸在金色的铁栅栏上，横的一棱一棱，像蚌壳又像帆，朱红在日影里，赤紫在阴影里。口欧！又飘了开来，露出淡淡的蓝天白云。可以是法国或是意大利。太美丽的日子，可以觉得它在窗外澌澌流过，河流似的，轻吻着窗台，吻着船舷。太阳暗队去，船过了桥洞，又亮了起来。”

又或者是一个别的什么细节，比如是学生时期，集体浴室深绿荷花缸中，暗里瞟见的“一圈白脏”。不论是什么都不要紧的，写作的契机原本就是作者的一点小心思得了养料开了花。

如果你不是固执地要看一个男人和一个女人之间说不准是什么事情的故事，其实她写什么都好看。
更何况，那四十年后添加的后记把那说不准是什么事情的事说破了。


“其实他们的事，也就是因为他叫她看不入眼。是有这种女孩子，追求的人太多了，养成太强的抵抗力。而且女人向来以退为进，“防御成功就是胜利。”抗拒是本能的反应名，也是最聪明的。只有绝对没可能性的男子她才不防备。她尽管可以崇拜他，一面笑他一面宠惯他，照应他，一个母性的女弟子。于是爱情乘虚而入--他错会了意，而她因为一直没遇见使她倾心的人，久郁的情怀也把持不住起来。相反地，怕羞的女孩子也会这样，碰见年貌相当的就窘得态度不自然，拒人于千里之外；年纪太大的或是有妇之夫，就不必避嫌疑。结果对方误会了，自己也终于卷入。这大概是一种妇科病症，男孩似乎没有。”

我合上书想了想，好像是这样的。

To understand her

"When it comes to writing, a story is the shortest distance between two points. Even the most intimate essay , the one that addresses readers like old acquintances, remains civilized, bound by the last vestiges of propriety. Only a story absolutely violates the rights to privacy. Yet, the writing and the reading of a story are not exercises in stalking tendencies. They are events imbued with a temporary empathy. Hopefully, readers and writers alike will seize that suspended moment and make it their own."

 

*            *                   *

 

她远远地见到她的女儿猫着腰顶着风，口哈白气地走过来。
女儿比她高也比她壮，怎么看都不像当年襁褓里那个五官皱成一团的婴儿。
“妈，隔壁老头儿家要卖房子啊？”
说话从来粗声粗气，一点温婉的样子都没有，笑起来也是狂风骤雨一般，让人担心她会喘不过气来。算了算了，不想她的事，想了就忍不住说，说了女儿又要烦，脸色变得不好看，最后还是要她好话去哄。
“你才看到？那牌子都插出来好几天了。”她随口应着，继续低头铲雪。
女儿蹦蹦跳跳地跑完门口最后几步路，在门前坎上，咚咚，跺下靴底的雪块。
“我去烤叉烧肉~！”
这么晚了烤什么肉？平时房间难得理个清爽，唯一积极分担的家务就是做饭，还得是她自己想吃的。这么晚了烤，免不了吃，吃了又要胖，好不容易瘦了一些，前功尽弃，这可不行。那么大一个女孩子家，自己好像完全不操心一样。也不知道她一天抱着脑袋想想想，想的是什么。
这么大了也不知道关心人，见了她在铲雪也不来帮忙，就是问一声也好啊。
这一点和她爸倒很像，尽继承了些缺点。这个家所有的事情，无论大小巨细，如果她放着不管就不会有人操心。房贷，保险，各类帐单，洗衣买菜擦玻璃通下水道。
以后她要是一个人住这些事情可怎么办。要是和别人一起生活，这种脾气，除了父母还有谁能忍？在身边留着也许还能再改改？
这些日子无论什么事都让她想起女儿，而每次看到女儿又让她回想到自己，像两面对放着的镜子，映出来的只有密密麻麻无穷无尽。
门被砰一声关上了。

 

*              *                   *

 

她和我不一样。她的世界已经不一样。

 

*              *                   *

 

“这么晚烤什么肉？别烤别烤，吃了又长。。。锅里有萝卜汤，喝了没？桌上那个碗里是邻居做的蛋糕,啊你怎么就吃上了，吃了多少？别再吃了，甜的东西对你不好！你刚才怎么不来帮我呢，问都不问一声，急着来烤肉，就知道吃啊？多动动，听到了没，我和你吃的一样多，但我动。没事你就摸摸脚转转腰。。。。。。”

 

她张着嘴还要说下去。
我伸出手捂在她冰凉发红的脸颊上。

Oceanscapes/Debra Bloomfield

"I love the caw of the crows and the smell of wet sage after a rain."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the listener

那么，今天就到此为止吧。

 

她把手中的纸巾丢在盘里，扶着桌子站起，然后微微低头，仔细地驱除落在膝上的面包屑。
他手中的咖啡仍有余热，七成满。

 

24小时营业的餐馆中的其他顾客大都是一个人，沉默地咀嚼食物，沉默地付账，沉默地推门离去。圣诞节的临近并没有带来什么节日氛围。荧光灯打在每一个人脸上，所有瑕疵都被染上一层淡淡的青色。一种深深的疲倦。背景广播里beach boys活泼地歌唱着加州的阳光和冲浪女郎。也不知道在一切都是一片温暖橘黄的加利福尼亚，会不会有如此的餐馆和这样的对话。

 

他是一个小时前接到她电话的。那时候他已经睡了。
当他披着外衣，踩着冰凉的地板去接电话时，心里异常宁静。他先去给自己倒了一杯水。电话铃声一直没有断，厨房不完全的黑暗中，手机屏幕一次又一次地亮起。

这是第几次了？

每当他差一点点就要忘记她的时候，她就回来了。

 

她说她十分钟后会去到他家街口的快餐店。

你如果想见面的话可以去那里找我。

 

在他认识她以前，他一直想象不出来有什么样的人会在凌晨三点去TM这种地方。
TM, loner's diner, a green fluorescent portal for burned coffee aficionados.

 

他们不多的共处时光都是在TM。
她第一次和他打招呼时说她喜欢那里的灯光，因为它不给人幻想的余地。
像这样，你可以清楚地看见我，直面残酷的现实吧！
说到最后一句时，她比了个大概是模仿革命烈士的动作，差点把他的杯子推翻。他们同时伸出手去抢救倾斜的杯子，她更快一些，于是他收回僵在半路的手，放松，恢复原来的姿势。She's a novice actress eager to please her audience of one.

 

他的确没有过任何暧昧的联想。她并不美，而且性格恶劣, with bad skin and self-aggrandizing manners.他并没有她的联系方式，而她每次找他，总是需要总结人生的某个阶段。If life were a checklist of things to do, then he was the check box; he provided the anchoring point she desperately needed to pull things together.
而且，他们都没有多余的激情可供纠缠，多余的温情可供消耗。不是每个人都是kerouac的roman candles.

 

他小时候迷恋过漫画电影里白日凡人夜里救人的superheroes。

长大后他晓得，日间平凡的男人日落后依然平凡，不过夜深人静时能出借人家一对聆听的耳，也不失为一种super power.

 

 

MUJI as we like it

MUJI award 03

Straw Straw
The original meaning of the term "straw" was "wheat straw". Wall art
depicting people using straws of wheat to drink from have been
discovered from ancient Mesopotamian ruins. Straws of wheat are forms
created by nature; they are materials that return to the soil. There's
no waste in either the shape itself, or in its actual existence.



Stand-alone Trash Bag
A trash bag that easily stands up by itself. By taking advantage of the
triangular pack that originated in Sweden and has been used for years
for serving milk for school lunches in Japan, we were able to achieve a
sense of stability, while the tendency to worry about the actual
contents of the bag has been lessened. Can be put to good use when
camping, on a picnic, or with other outdoor activities.


Tachia Mat
Bed sheet for hot summer nights.



Grandpa's Nail Hook
(Standardized) everyday hook



Camelia Washing-Up Liquid
Residue "waste tea powder" from camellia oleifera abel



Second Skin
Zippable double-sided blanket



Precise Stapler
Always at the right angle
 

MUJI's message

    MUJI is not a brand. MUJI does not make products of individuality or fashion, nor does MUJI reflect the popularity of its name in its prices. MUJI creates products with a view toward global consumption of the future. This means that we do not create products that lure customers into believing that "this is best" or "I must have this." We would like our customers to feel the rational sense of satisfaction that comes not with "This is best," but with "this is enough.". "Best" becomes "enough".

    There are degrees of "enough," however. MUJI aims to raise the standard of "enough" to the greatest extent possible. "Best" contains a faint amount of egoism and disharmony, but in "enough" we sense restraint and compromise. On the other hand, "enough" might contain a sense of resignation and a slight amount of dissatisfaction. So by raising the bar of what denotes "enough," we cast away that resingation and slight dissatisfaction; we create a new dimension of "enough" to attain a clear and heart-felt "This is enough." That is MUJI's vision.